Menjadi 28 tahun, bukanlah suatu peristiwa yang sering terjadi di kehidupan seseorang, it's one in a life time miracle.
Iya, ini keajaiban. Menjadi 28 tahun merupakan keajaiban bagi saya. Yang dulu tidak pernah menyangka akan bisa hidup selama ini.
Hahaha, I used to imagine that I would die in my early 20's, LOL.
Why? because, I think I'm the unhappiest individual on earth. Teori saya, orang yang tidak bahagia biasanya mati cepat. Sekali lagi referensinya adalah tokoh-tokoh dunia, Anne Frank, Emily Bronte, Shakespearre dan banyak lagi. *dangkalnyaaaa*
Tapi rupanya tidak, alhamdulillah Alloh punya rencana lain. Saya diberi hidup sampai usia ini untuk akhirnya banyak-banyak bersyukur.
Mengetahui misi saya hadir di muka bumi dan mencoba melakukan apa saja untuk berbuat sebaik-baiknya demi orang-orang yang saya kasihi.
Alhamdulillah di usia 28 tahun keluarga saya masih utuh. Ibu masih diberi umur panjang meski hobi keluar masuk rumah sakit. *hari ini rencananya Beliau keluar dari RS setelah lima hari indekos di St Borromeus gara-gara serangan jantung*.
Mbak Kris tambah sehat, ini berkolerasi dengan berat badannya, hahaha.. Dan kami punya anggota keluarga baru, A Komar, suami Mba Zeni.
Dan tentu saja, sumber inspirasi saya, jerapah kesayangan yang selalu ada di samping saya.
Menertawakan kepincangan sosial yang tertangkap mata naif kami dan kadang-kadang bengong menerawang saat sama-sama mendengarkan lirik dan musik menggetarkan dari Nirvana.
Kami saling mempengaruhi. Seperti magnet yang berbeda kutub, ada hal-hal yang membuat kami saling ingin meninggalkan, tapi pengaruh yang kami berikan satu sama lain sudah mengikat.
Saya tidak tahu, Gusti Alloh mau memberi waktu berapa lama pada kami, toh hidup ini cuma sebentar..
"Carpe Diem!"
Nikmati hidup di hari ini, hargai apa yang kamu punya saat ini, tidak usah payah-payah mikir besok mesti apa dan bagaimana.
Gusti, kalau pun saya mesti mati besok, saya sudah rela. Terima kasih telah begitu percaya hingga memberi hidup pendek yang penuh warna ini.
Saya memang jarang merapalkan doa mengaduh padaMu, tapi apalah saya ini harus selalu mengeluhkan hidup yang sudah indah ini.
Tapi kalau memang benar adanya, saya minta diberi kesempatan untuk terus bersama-sama orang yang saya kasihi, dan tentunya balik mengasihi saya.
PS: the cutest thing someone has ever given to me on my b'day was giving me coupons that i can chased with any free orders from him, haha.. thank u gondrong XOXO
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
Bangka once upon a time
I must say, I'm lucky to have people who care me so much. One of them even willingly to do almost everything for me, including to fly up across the sea to help me move out from Bangka back to Jakarta. So here are our cute pictures.
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| His first gesture arriving at Pasir Padi beach, Bangka |
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| My favorite dish in Bangka; kwe tiaw with shrimp |
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| His first ever Bangka black coffee |
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| Our sunset-ey first pic together, hold up, there will be thousands more to come :P |
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| Bye bye tin island! |
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| piggy back back back! |
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| The clear sky on the day I left Bangka |
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| sweaty happy day |
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| "where's my coins?" |
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| It is what it is. |
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Kami pernah keren!
So this was inspired by a story my boyfriend told me once, he said he was surprised on a day he found an old picture of his mom and dad being so cool in their young age, the mom and the dad were so hip at that time. His mom wearing a sleeveless party gown looked so happy dancing with his dad.
Then I said to my boyfriend, "I don't want my kids someday to be like you, I don't want they surprised to know that their parents once also have ever been so happy and merry."
So, long story short, I pushed my boyfriend to take as many pitures shot as he can put up with last nite. And so here we goes, kids, we too have ever been so cool!
I know this is too much public display of affection but I intentionally published this for my own pleasure, hehe.. So, haters will hate, pukers will puke, and I will continue posting LOLlll
Then I said to my boyfriend, "I don't want my kids someday to be like you, I don't want they surprised to know that their parents once also have ever been so happy and merry."
So, long story short, I pushed my boyfriend to take as many pitures shot as he can put up with last nite. And so here we goes, kids, we too have ever been so cool!
I know this is too much public display of affection but I intentionally published this for my own pleasure, hehe.. So, haters will hate, pukers will puke, and I will continue posting LOLlll
Friday, July 5, 2013
Normal is perfect!
My theory of perfect life is the normal one. I know I used to say normal is boring and stuff.. But deep down in my heart, normal promises steadiness. It provides long lasting relationship that I want. But some people just don't get it. I need to tell it again and again.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Obsolote technology
The last time I made use floppy disk, or diskette was when I on my first year of university days.. *if I'm not miscounting*. Well, those are really good old days with I carrying two or three diskettes whenever I need to gather sources from the internet and read them at home in my huge computer.
To think back again, will my future kids have this kind of nostalgia when they grow up. If they do, how would it be? Would the conversation they have be like this: "Oh, do you remember how we used to use I Phone to text with our fingers?"
Damn you later generations!! even now I could not afford one!! Huh!!
Oh, Jens Lekman.. u have stolen my heart!!!
I've been always thinking that quirky, slightly nerd, and underdog type of guys are always hotter than jock or rock and roll stars. My list for those "strange-ly brilliant" dudes are like Jens Lekman, Ben Gibbard, James Mercer of The Shins, Kurt Cobain *he's a slightly quirky than a rock star to me*, Jonas Bjerre.. I have ever put the list down on my previous post.
In this post, I would like to especially talking about Jens Lekman. He's brilliant!! He has a knack to put simple words in his song to finally produce complicated effect to every listener. His lyrics are witty. It sounds charming and cheerful but most of the time the lyrics are dark and suicidal.
For those who want to hear one of the songs, here is the example:
I really want this in my wedding!!!
Lady Lazarus
Lady Lazarus adalah puisi yang menimbulkan kesan kuat setelah saya membacanya. Puisi ini ditulis oleh seorang wanita luar biasa kelahiran Boston, Massachusetts di era 30-an.
Kekuatan puisi ini terletak pada, tema, tentu saja! Dan imaji mistis pada setiap diksi yang digunakannya.
Lady Lazarus
by Sylvia PlathI have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it--
A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot
A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.
Peel off the napkin
O my enemy.
Do I terrify?--
The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.
Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me
And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.
This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.
What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see
Them unwrap me hand and foot--
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies
These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,
Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.
The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut
As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.
Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.
It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical
Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:
'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge
For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart--
It really goes.
And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood
Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.
I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby
That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.
Ash, ash--
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there--
A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.
Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.
23-29 October 1962- See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15292#sthash.QkDGXI8M.dpuf
Lady Lazarus
by Sylvia PlathI have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it--
A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot
A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.
Peel off the napkin
O my enemy.
Do I terrify?--
The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.
Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me
And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.
This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.
What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see
Them unwrap me hand and foot--
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies
These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,
Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.
The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut
As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.
Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.
It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical
Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:
'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge
For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart--
It really goes.
And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood
Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.
I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby
That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.
Ash, ash--
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there--
A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.
Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.
23-29 October 1962- See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15292#sthash.QkDGXI8M.dpuf
Lady Lazarus
by Sylvia Plath
I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it--
A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot
A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.
Peel off the napkin
O my enemy.
Do I terrify?--
The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.
Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me
And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.
This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.
What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see
Them unwrap me hand and foot--
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies
These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,
Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.
The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut
As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.
Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.
It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical
Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:
'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge
For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart--
It really goes.
And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood
Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.
I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby
That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.
Ash, ash--
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there--
A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.
Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.
23-29 October 1962
I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it--
A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot
A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.
Peel off the napkin
O my enemy.
Do I terrify?--
The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.
Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me
And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.
This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.
What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see
Them unwrap me hand and foot--
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies
These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,
Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.
The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut
As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.
Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.
It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical
Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:
'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge
For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart--
It really goes.
And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood
Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.
I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby
That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.
Ash, ash--
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there--
A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.
Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.
23-29 October 1962
Secara keseluruhan, puisi ini tentang bunuh diri, si wanita menganggap kematian layaknya sebuah seni, seperti yang lain-lain. Dan dia melakukannya dengan sangat bagus, setiap kali dia mencoba bunuh diri, rasanya seperti nyata dan mudah baginya.
Dalam puisi, si wanita sudah mencoba bunuh diri dua kali, pertama saat 10 tahun dan itu tidak sengaja. Yang kedua dia memang niat bunuh diri.
Diksi dalam puisi ini membuat karya Plath terdengar sangat rumit, kelam dan brutal. Stanza-stanza awal saat dia menggambarkan keadaan sekarat sangat terus terang dan tanpa malu-malu membuat pembaca miris sekaligus hanyut dalam mistis imagery yang digunakannya.
Plath menggambarkan sekaratnya sebagai mukjizat dengan kulit seterang kap lampu Nazi, kakinya yang selunglai kertas, dan wajahnya sepasi linen yahudi.. damn, that's so beautiful!!
lensa feminis
Sebenarnya, puisi ini bisa dimaknai lebih luas lagi melalui lensa feminis.Puisi ini mendemonstrasikan perjuangan wanita atas kemandiriannya di tengah-tengah masyarakat patriarkal. Puisi ini pernyataan Plath atas terampasnya kreativitas dia oleh dunia patriarkal.
Tapi Plath berhasil mengalahkannya saat dia dilahirkan kembali seperti tertuang jelas dalam stanza; Out of the ash/ I rise with my red hair/ And I eat men like air.
Lady Lazarus
by Sylvia PlathI have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it--
A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot
A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.
Peel off the napkin
O my enemy.
Do I terrify?--
The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.
Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me
And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.
This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.
What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see
Them unwrap me hand and foot--
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies
These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,
Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.
The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut
As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.
Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.
It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical
Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:
'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge
For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart--
It really goes.
And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood
Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.
I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby
That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.
Ash, ash--
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there--
A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.
Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.
23-29 October 1962- See more at: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15292#sthash.QkDGXI8M.dpuf
Massachusetts
Massachusetts
Massachusetts
Massachusetts
Massachusetts
Massachusetts
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
being a friend or friendly?!
Ini adalah quote terbaik yang saya dengar selama minggu-minggu panjang saya menonton drama serial di StarWorld;
“There is a difference between being a friend and being friendly."
 |
| Chloe dan teman perkemahan anak psikopat-nya, Teddy. |
Quote itu dikatakan Chloe dari serial Don’t Trust the B—— in Apartment 23. Ironisnya, Chloe adalah karakter gadis pecandu alkohol yang doyan pesta dan memiliki moral seperti perompak. Dia tipe gadis jahat yang suka mem-bully gadis-gadis dan gay. Pokoknya, Chloe bukanlah tipe sahabat yang manis yang akan dipilih para gadis.
Tapi, apa yang diucapkannya pada June Colburn, si gadis rumahan dari Indiana yang merasa tidak beruntung karena menjadi teman sekamarnya, sangatlah benar.
Menjadi seorang teman berbeda dengan menjadi ramah. Menjadi teman berarti kita siap mengatakan hal-hal yang buruk pada orang-orang yang kita sayangi meski mereka tidak mau mendengarnya. Sedangkan menjadi ramah kita hanya mengatakan yang hal yang manis-manis agar orang menyukai kita.
Sayangnya, setelah dipikir lagi.. saya selama ini mirip June. Saya seringnya sugar-coating facts hanya agar orang-orang menyukai saya. Menjadi mean girl memang kadang-kadang perlu, agar kita bisa punya teman yang sebenarnya, tapi..
Kehidupan nyata memang berbeda dengan cerita sinetron. Di sinetron, meski Chloe adalah gadis jahat yang suka blak-blakan, tapi orang-orang masih sayang padanya. Tapi dalam realitas, gadis seperti dia akan habis, setidaknya habis diomongin orang.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
I'm not lost, I just took the road less travelled!!
Hingga saat ini, saya masih takjub dengan cara-cara tak terduga Tuhan dalam melarikkan kisah hidup masing-masing hamba-Nya, termasuk saya. Setahun yang lalu, mana saya tahu kalau saya bakal kembali ke Jakarta setelah sekian lama larut dalam ketidakberuntungan *yang sebenarnya diciptakan oleh pemikiran saya sendiri* selama satu tahun lebih satu bulan ini.
Tapi, bagaimana pun, saya amatlah bersyukur atas skenario Tuhan. Tuhan memberi saya kesempatan menyekolahkan mental dan psikologi saya di tempat yang benar-benar asing sehingga saya harus bertopang pada kedua kaki saya sendiri.
Oscar Wilde pernah mengatakan "pengalaman adalah kata yang kita beri pada kesalahan2 kita", "Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes", meski saya hampir selalu setuju dengan ide-ide nyleneh sastrawan era Victorian ini, tapi kali ini, saya tidak.
Pengalaman bukan kesalahan. Pengalaman hanyalah jalan setapak yang jarang dilewati. Kita melewatinya, kita tahu apa yang ada di sana, dan kita bisa mengambil keputusan atas itu.
Robert Frost tahu benar tentang ini dan dia membingkainya dalam sebuah gubahan puisi indah, The Road Not Taken, Jalan yang Tidak Dilewati
Dua jalan yang bercabang di hutan kuning,
Sayang, aku tidak bisa menempuh keduanya
Sebagai pengembara, aku berdiri lama
Memandang ke satu jalan sejauh aku bisa
Jalan yang berkelok di semak belukar;
Lalu melihat jalan yang lain, sama bagusnya,
Dan mungkin malah lebih baik
Karena terlihat segar dan menarik
Meski sudah terlewati manusia
Hampir sama seringnya
Dan pagi itu keduanya terbentang
Dengan hamparan daun yang belum terinjak jejak langkah
Oh, aku simpan saja yang pertama untuk hari lain!
Meski tahu semua jalan menuntun ke sebuah arah
Aku ragu akan pernah kembali.
Aku akan menuturkannya sambil mendesah
Di suatu tempat berabad-abad mendatang:
Dua jalan bercabang di hutan, dan aku,
Aku mengambil satu yang jarang dilalui orang
Dan itu telah membuat perbedaan besar
Hasbi-allahu la ilaha illa Huwa 'alaihi tawakkalt
Cukuplah Allah bagiku. Tidak ada Tuhan selain Dia. Hanya kepada-Nya aku bertawakal dan Dia adalah Tuhan yang memiliki Arsy yang agung.
Bismillah saja lah..
Tapi, bagaimana pun, saya amatlah bersyukur atas skenario Tuhan. Tuhan memberi saya kesempatan menyekolahkan mental dan psikologi saya di tempat yang benar-benar asing sehingga saya harus bertopang pada kedua kaki saya sendiri.
Oscar Wilde pernah mengatakan "pengalaman adalah kata yang kita beri pada kesalahan2 kita", "Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes", meski saya hampir selalu setuju dengan ide-ide nyleneh sastrawan era Victorian ini, tapi kali ini, saya tidak.
Pengalaman bukan kesalahan. Pengalaman hanyalah jalan setapak yang jarang dilewati. Kita melewatinya, kita tahu apa yang ada di sana, dan kita bisa mengambil keputusan atas itu.
Robert Frost tahu benar tentang ini dan dia membingkainya dalam sebuah gubahan puisi indah, The Road Not Taken, Jalan yang Tidak Dilewati
Dua jalan yang bercabang di hutan kuning,
Sayang, aku tidak bisa menempuh keduanya
Sebagai pengembara, aku berdiri lama
Memandang ke satu jalan sejauh aku bisa
Jalan yang berkelok di semak belukar;
Lalu melihat jalan yang lain, sama bagusnya,
Dan mungkin malah lebih baik
Karena terlihat segar dan menarik
Meski sudah terlewati manusia
Hampir sama seringnya
Dan pagi itu keduanya terbentang
Dengan hamparan daun yang belum terinjak jejak langkah
Oh, aku simpan saja yang pertama untuk hari lain!
Meski tahu semua jalan menuntun ke sebuah arah
Aku ragu akan pernah kembali.
Aku akan menuturkannya sambil mendesah
Di suatu tempat berabad-abad mendatang:
Dua jalan bercabang di hutan, dan aku,
Aku mengambil satu yang jarang dilalui orang
Dan itu telah membuat perbedaan besar
Hasbi-allahu la ilaha illa Huwa 'alaihi tawakkalt
Cukuplah Allah bagiku. Tidak ada Tuhan selain Dia. Hanya kepada-Nya aku bertawakal dan Dia adalah Tuhan yang memiliki Arsy yang agung.
Bismillah saja lah..
Monday, April 1, 2013
Unbearably suffered
This feeling is unbearable..
I really want to shout to the world that he is mine, but the time is yet to come. There are still many things to be solved so I need to be more and more and more patient.
I really want to shout to the world that he is mine, but the time is yet to come. There are still many things to be solved so I need to be more and more and more patient.
dan lalu ..
dan lalu..
satu-satu.. semuanya menjadi baik
saya bukan orang paling optimis di muka bumi ini, tapi saya selalu percaya Tuhan baik, dan dia akan sebaik prasangka kita..
satu-satu.. semuanya menjadi baik
saya bukan orang paling optimis di muka bumi ini, tapi saya selalu percaya Tuhan baik, dan dia akan sebaik prasangka kita..
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
This is beautiful
Pemberian tahu
Chairil Anwar
bukan maksudku mau berbagi nasib
nasib adalah kesunyian masing masing
ku pilih kau dari yang banyak,tapi
sebentar kita sudah dalam sepi lagi terjaring
aku pernah ingin benar padamu
di malam raya,menjadi kanak kanak kembali
kita berpeluk ciuman tak jemu
rasa tak sanggup kau ku lepaskan
jangan satukan hidupmu dengan hidupku
aku memang tidak bisa lama bersama
ini juga ku tulis di kapal dilaut tak bernama!
1946
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
my hilarious panda
I was reading my friends hilarious life experience, dan gua gak bisa berhenti ngakak.. So if you need some free entertainment, here are the link..
http://airethanty.wordpress.com/
http://airethanty.wordpress.com/
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Looking through the honey colored eyes
Couple weeks ago I was just realizing that all characters in Winnie the Pooh is representing mental disorders. As an adult who is growing up with Disney characters on my Sundays TV, I was quite shocked. But then all started to make sense now..
Here are some of the disorders from the characters I quoted from omg facts
Tigger has severe ADHD,
Piglet has anxiety,
Rabbit is a pedantic loner,
Owl has OCD,
Eore has extreme depression,
Christopher Robin has schizophrenia
while Pooh represents an addict, I think he has some kind of eating disorder, especially he is so honey maniac.
Focus on Winnie the Pooh, all I remember about him is he has such a wonderful personality. He always help his friends and so optimistic. Well.. maybe he see the world through his honey colored eyes so the world are seems more sweeter for him.
If only I can get a pair of honey colored glasses for my own..
Here are some of the disorders from the characters I quoted from omg facts
Tigger has severe ADHD,
Piglet has anxiety,
Rabbit is a pedantic loner,
Owl has OCD,
Eore has extreme depression,
Christopher Robin has schizophrenia
while Pooh represents an addict, I think he has some kind of eating disorder, especially he is so honey maniac.
Focus on Winnie the Pooh, all I remember about him is he has such a wonderful personality. He always help his friends and so optimistic. Well.. maybe he see the world through his honey colored eyes so the world are seems more sweeter for him.
If only I can get a pair of honey colored glasses for my own..
love like lollipops
And true love livesYeah, the more I try to get closer to you, the more I get cavities, in my heart
On lollipops and crisps
A loud song
Last nite, someone send me his music.. He said it was a trash song. I was like; "whattt?!" 
I meant, I'm a huge fans of music and I don't believe in anything such a trash song. All songs are representation what someone is feeling about something. And I believe all feelings are precious be it good feelings or bad ones.
So, I was listening to it and my first reaction was ...
"Ok, that was.. loud!"
It is loud. I wouldn't ever enjoy such music. Well.. I'm listening to Grunges like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Sonic Youth, or Pixies but.. it's all about the lyrics. And that song he sent me, I couldn't really catch what the lyrics was.
But, no matter how I didn't enjoy that song, I will never call it a trash. Because it's a sincere expression.
I meant, I'm a huge fans of music and I don't believe in anything such a trash song. All songs are representation what someone is feeling about something. And I believe all feelings are precious be it good feelings or bad ones.
So, I was listening to it and my first reaction was ...
"Ok, that was.. loud!"
It is loud. I wouldn't ever enjoy such music. Well.. I'm listening to Grunges like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Sonic Youth, or Pixies but.. it's all about the lyrics. And that song he sent me, I couldn't really catch what the lyrics was.
But, no matter how I didn't enjoy that song, I will never call it a trash. Because it's a sincere expression.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Is he the one?
And I'm starting to think.. Is this really what I want in life? I don't know anything about him but some fragments of the reality of his life, in which, he built up based on my narrow expectations.
However, I'm still hoping, Life is good. I know it would be good, someday, eventually.
For you, I wish you a very happy good life. But really, you can wait to nod to your parents because of me, why you just don't want me? I really want to be your soja kumari..
The things you said last nite, hurt me more than this stomachache crammed. Arrghhhh!!
However, I'm still hoping, Life is good. I know it would be good, someday, eventually.
For you, I wish you a very happy good life. But really, you can wait to nod to your parents because of me, why you just don't want me? I really want to be your soja kumari..
The things you said last nite, hurt me more than this stomachache crammed. Arrghhhh!!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
same shit different day
today i promise not to complain about my job, anymore, anyhow..
all will just pouring down on me like the rain drops, drench me with wet but will not break me
i don't know if i will have that strength, but i trust in you. we will make this better
i know the shit will always same, it's just happen in different day.. but we have hope.
all will just pouring down on me like the rain drops, drench me with wet but will not break me
i don't know if i will have that strength, but i trust in you. we will make this better
i know the shit will always same, it's just happen in different day.. but we have hope.
Friday, February 15, 2013
On being alone...
I don't feel so much bothered on being alone until couple days ago. Before this, I got a friend of mine here who always on my side to work and to have fun with. (fun in Pangkalpinang standard, please be noted!).
But, on Tuesday he left for good to his hometown in Singaraja, and I'm alone.
I was so worried at first, I'm afraid on how could I continue my work without him who always give me a ride.
But I don;t know how, that feeling is vanished, replaced by self-contend and awareness. By his leaving, I became different person, I eat more healthy, I worry less, and love more.. (love u Tintin :*).
But then, trouble starts to arise..
Some people treat me differently, the boys start to tease me, the girls start to use me, really!! But again, I keep on believing that this shall too pass..
But, on Tuesday he left for good to his hometown in Singaraja, and I'm alone.
I was so worried at first, I'm afraid on how could I continue my work without him who always give me a ride.
But I don;t know how, that feeling is vanished, replaced by self-contend and awareness. By his leaving, I became different person, I eat more healthy, I worry less, and love more.. (love u Tintin :*).
But then, trouble starts to arise..
Some people treat me differently, the boys start to tease me, the girls start to use me, really!! But again, I keep on believing that this shall too pass..
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
tears in rain
and I will be vanished
I will turn into clouds, but not for so long
As I will soon melt into the rain drops
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Fragmentary blue
Why make so much of fragmentary blue
Yes, why? Robert Frost've been always right, why there must be so much in everything? Was it intended to accentuate the goodness in the eyes of those too stubborn to realize the beauty
or..
It was just it. It was just simply too much for everything.
Moved by how brilliant Mr.Frost put feeling on such effective yet rhyming *which is making this poem is beautiful for me*, I started to question myself, why would I have to only focus on one thing I think it's worthed all? Then I know the answer, because it is really worthed all!
Why make so much of fragmentary blue
In here and there a bird, or butterfly,
Or flower, or wearing-stone, or open eye,
When heaven presents in sheets the solid hue?
Why we only care about one color when others are as much as pretty?
Well, Since earth is earth, perhaps, not heaven (as yet)--
Though some savants make earth include the sky;
And blue so far above us comes so high,
We tend to look up at only blue, something unreachable has its own mystery for us to be amazed of, and for that reason, I think..
It only gives our wish for blue a whet.
Yes, why? Robert Frost've been always right, why there must be so much in everything? Was it intended to accentuate the goodness in the eyes of those too stubborn to realize the beauty
or..
It was just it. It was just simply too much for everything.
Moved by how brilliant Mr.Frost put feeling on such effective yet rhyming *which is making this poem is beautiful for me*, I started to question myself, why would I have to only focus on one thing I think it's worthed all? Then I know the answer, because it is really worthed all!
Why make so much of fragmentary blue
In here and there a bird, or butterfly,
Or flower, or wearing-stone, or open eye,
When heaven presents in sheets the solid hue?
Why we only care about one color when others are as much as pretty?
Well, Since earth is earth, perhaps, not heaven (as yet)--
Though some savants make earth include the sky;
And blue so far above us comes so high,
We tend to look up at only blue, something unreachable has its own mystery for us to be amazed of, and for that reason, I think..
It only gives our wish for blue a whet.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Not a superman
It has been too long since my last post
And for sure many things has happened in my little life
First, we are now in the year of 2013, and I wish same with what most of the 7 billions other people in the whole world wish: HAPPINESS!
Talking about happiness, secretly, whenever I meet or talk with new person, I have this habit to scale their happiness. Like, if he is nice to me, then I score his happiness with 10 from 1 to 10. That score then will gradually cut down whenever he do something less pleasing.
Hahaa.. I know, it's all the standard of me-based, but hey, it is my blog, it is my life, so if you don't accept it, move away!
So, about my life.. It is still pretty standard. I'm still stucked here for unpredictable time. But good news is, last week I spent whole week back home it was pretty awesome. I met my family and friends. But bad things come side by side with good ones.
Soon, I will be completely alone here as my boss and my friend will move out to another island. I dont know what will happening in my life after this but I am ready to pack up my backpack anytime. *griiinnn*
Again, about happiness, I have this theory..
The least happy someone in his life, the more he will do good in the world. So, in other word, I believe if someone is happy he will care less with his surroundings.
For the evidence, most of the superheroes, be it in the comics or in the real life, are those whose life is not happy.
Bruce Wayne dealing with the death of his parents. Martin Luther King is obviously was bullied with his identity.
So, my point is, the more someone is unhappy, the more he tries hard to fix the situations around him so that he can get the satisfaction of eliminating the unhappy feeling.
Musing about that then I realize, am I happy? I'm not a superman, I don't remember I like to do good deeds for my surroundings but yet I feel empty in my life.
What am I missing here?
And for sure many things has happened in my little life
First, we are now in the year of 2013, and I wish same with what most of the 7 billions other people in the whole world wish: HAPPINESS!
Talking about happiness, secretly, whenever I meet or talk with new person, I have this habit to scale their happiness. Like, if he is nice to me, then I score his happiness with 10 from 1 to 10. That score then will gradually cut down whenever he do something less pleasing.
Hahaa.. I know, it's all the standard of me-based, but hey, it is my blog, it is my life, so if you don't accept it, move away!
So, about my life.. It is still pretty standard. I'm still stucked here for unpredictable time. But good news is, last week I spent whole week back home it was pretty awesome. I met my family and friends. But bad things come side by side with good ones.
Soon, I will be completely alone here as my boss and my friend will move out to another island. I dont know what will happening in my life after this but I am ready to pack up my backpack anytime. *griiinnn*
Again, about happiness, I have this theory..
The least happy someone in his life, the more he will do good in the world. So, in other word, I believe if someone is happy he will care less with his surroundings.
For the evidence, most of the superheroes, be it in the comics or in the real life, are those whose life is not happy.
Bruce Wayne dealing with the death of his parents. Martin Luther King is obviously was bullied with his identity.
So, my point is, the more someone is unhappy, the more he tries hard to fix the situations around him so that he can get the satisfaction of eliminating the unhappy feeling.
Musing about that then I realize, am I happy? I'm not a superman, I don't remember I like to do good deeds for my surroundings but yet I feel empty in my life.
What am I missing here?
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