Thursday, October 15, 2015

30

Tahun lalu, seperti biasa, kedua mbakku lupa ulang tahunku dan aku masih merengek-rengek "nagih" ucapan dan doa-doa. Tahun ini, mereka tetap lupa dan aku diam saja.

Cuma ibuk yang menelepon pagi-pagi menanyakan kenapa aku kok enggak pulang lama, aku jawab iya nanti saja.

Tahun lalu pacarku malam-malam datang ke kos bawain bunga mawar, tahun ini dia bilang enggak punya uang dan menawarkan "jasa" sebagai hadiah. Jadi aku suruh-suruh dia mulai dari cuci gelas, beres-beres kos, mijitin sampai jemur kasur dan kasih makan kucing (nope m kiddin!).

Kawan-kawan di kantor tetap baik hati dan mengucapkan "selamat ulang tahun, kapan kawin?"

Temen-temen di grup wasap silih berganti mengucapkan selamat, hari itu iPhone-ku nge-hang. Steve Jobs keburu meninggal sebelum menemukan teknologi anti-panas saking banyaknya grup wasap.

Intinya, in my 30s, I feel blessed. God, thanks I made it!!! I have a wonderful life. 

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Djarwati-part I

Ask me who's the toughest living thing alive? I'd say women!

I know many women, not ordinary women. I know the most enduring women, be it from misery or even love.

One of them named Djarwati. She is the strongest character I've known in live. She has been a victim of injustice.

She was born in a poor family in a veryyy remote place very far from the glamorous dreams. Education, for this family is a privilege. Something that must be fight for.

As the eldest kid in the family, and above of all as a WOMAN, Djarwati had to give up her dream  to stay at school.

By the age of 12, she had to work with her dad as a merchant. Going in and out filthy markets around town in order to feed the whole family. Those little feet obediently follow wherever her dad's path.

Those fragile little hands was almost broken lifting very heavy bags with many kind of selling goods inside. Any kind of spices, coffee beans, brown sugars.

Feeding 5 kids, was not easy at that time for the family, so the eldest kid should go out of the house. The eldest kid should help the family. That was a time for the eldest kid to pay back all of the kindest the family had given to her. The eldest kid should marry someone rich. And so Djarwati's dad found a man thru suitors for that very little girl.

At the age of 16, Djarwati married a stranger. A man she never met whose age was 26. A man who never said he love her from the first time they met in wedding bed.

She was the prettiest of all the kids in her town. It was not difficult for suitors to get her a man, the old and rich man because she always dressed nice. Her bright complexions that contrasted her dark soft hair and her slender body is magnet to all eyes.

And so she get married. The clueless Djarwati had to agree to marry a complete stranger in a very early age so that her brothers and sisters could continue to get their education. At that time, her mind was full with questions, why me? what should I do? who is he? why can't I play dolls and kite anymore? and most of all, why I can't go to school anymore? what about my friends?

But, no one had ever answered her questions. Those questions were floating around on an empty air. Those questions were floating around the silent wooden rooms among the crickets songs on after-harvested padi fields near her parents' house.

Djarwati is actually a very smart girl. She may talked loud and harsh, but when she was in school, she had always been in the top rank. Even her body was small for kids her age, she outranked most kids in her village, in class and in many games.

That gift was still in her even after she was married. Her husband was unemployed. He bought food to eat, cigarettes and liquors and gambling with his rich family's money.

Djarwati never got money from her new husband. She was smart, she decided to sell food near their little bleak house. The house was happened near a hospital so many visitors come and buy.

First year of marriage, first daughter was born. She was pretty as her mom. Smart as her mom. Brave as her mom. Nothing resembled the father.

That little girl was so helpful. Since the age 2, she helped her mom in the food stall. She was a quite girl. Never cried even her mom got busy in kitchen and food stall serving all the buyers, including those flirtatious truck drivers who happened to stop near hospital. One day, a full cola bottle crates fall down on her while she was sleeping on a small space among the foods ingredients. Blood came streaming down from her eyebrows, but she didn't cry a tear.

Meanwhile the father continued his habit to drink liquors and play gamble. without job, he didn't get the money.He never cared for the baby. He never know what kind of accidents had happened to his child.

His family was fed up giving him money. Knowing his wife's business was growing good, he came to her asking her money. Money he never deserve.

She refused giving. She said the money is for the little daughter to go to school someday. She needed the money to feed the family. She needed the money to buy food ingredient to be sold tomorrow. Her husband was furious. He beat her cruelly.

After all, she was pregnant with second kid. He never accept NO as an answer. When he ask money he did not deserve, he beat her. He beat the daughter.

On the bright day on early April, The second baby was born. She looked alike the father but sweet. She had the prettiest smile and friendliest eyes.

The story got worsen when Djarwati's siblings were growing up. Djarwati's parents were getting old and selling business was not good at that time. So the other kids had to ask money to their eldest sibling.

Djarwati was running out of energy, running out of money, running out of love.

At that kind of situation, the third kid was born. She was born on gloomy rainy day on October. She was the ugliest. She was not look like mother or father. Very thin and sickly.

Could not help the beating and contiguously asked for money by her family, Djarwati reached her limit.

She ran out of the house. Leaving that 40 days old baby. Leaving all of her troubles behind to big city. She ran out to catch her dream. She ran out to have her own time.

She was free.. finally..